Limericks
I wish that my room had a floor;
I don't care so much for a door;
But this crawling around
Without touching the ground
Is getting to be quite a bore.
There was a young fellow of Perth
Who was born on the day of his birth.
He married, they say,
On his wife's wedding day,
And died when he quitted the earth.
A psychiatrist fellow from Rye
Went to visit another close by,
Who said, with a grin,
As he welcomed him in:
"Hello, Smith! You're all right. How am I?"
A young schizophrenic named Struther
When told of the death of his mother,
Said:"Yes, it's too bad,
But I can't feel too sad.
After all, I still have each other."
God's plan made a hopeful beginning,
But man spoiled his chances by sinning.
We trust that the story
Will end in God's glory,
But, at present, the other side's winning.
A rocket explorer named Wright
Once travelled much faster than light.
He set off one day
In a relative way
And returned on the previous night.
A flea and a fly in a flue
Were imprisoned, so what could they do?
Said the fly: "Let us flee."
Said the flea: "Let us fly."
So they flew through a flaw in the flue.
There's a clever old miser who tries
Every method to e-con-omize.
He said with a wink:
"I save gallons of ink
By simply not dotting my i's."
A jolly young fellow from Yuma
Told an elephant joke to a puma;
Now his skeleton lies
Beneath hot western skies -
The puma had no sense of huma.
There was an old fellow of Lyme,
Who lived with three wives at a time.
When asked: "Why the third?",
He replied: "One's absurd,
And bigamy, Sir, is a crime."
There was a young man of South Bay,
Making fireworks one summer day.
He dropped his cigar
In the gunpowder jar...
There was a young man of South Bay.
Said a practical thinker: "One should
Help to kill superstition for good.
I, for instance, refuse
To observe all taboos,
With immunity, so far, touch wood."